someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize