We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
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I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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