and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
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This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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