He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
third nipple confirmed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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