and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize