How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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