where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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