How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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