I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can't turn off my feet"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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