You just made me feel so damn special
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize