Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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