I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize