If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize