I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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