I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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