What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize