thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize