We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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