Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize