And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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