Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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