Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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