You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize