I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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