Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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