my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize