I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize