Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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