I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ugly people sure do ruin things
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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