I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize