You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
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I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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