so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize