What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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