so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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