So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
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We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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