I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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