I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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