I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize