i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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