i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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