Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize