I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I pour the whiskey from now on
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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