I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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