never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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