i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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