i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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