we made out on top of his cat.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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