Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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