flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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