The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize